Wednesday, December 23, 2009
i guess i m really stubborn.. haha.. dad always ask me to go a bus stop further down n nt alight at the stop right outside ntu.. be it gng to hostel or gng home.. cos he feels tt place is unsafe.. an open target for accidents.. a lot of heavy vehicles passing by there.. n nt many ppl there.. well.. tt stop hor.. cos of e heavy vehicles passing by, sometimes e bus driver cnt c u.. so sometimes they wun stop.. happened once.. so i learnt to flag way earlier.. n put my hand up higher.. n only put it down when i saw e driver signalling left..
but at least, i dun board from tt place when it's at night.. cos it's really dark, n really no ppl.. e back is forested area.. e front, is some construction, under jtc.. well..tt stop is e nearest to sch mah.. save money, save time.. haha.. though one stop down will nt really make a difference in e money saved.. but mayb in bout 3 mins saved? haha.. well.. e stop further down, my dad oso say cnt c e bus coming.. since both stops hv it's cons.. choose e one tt's nearer lah.. haha.. :P i m jus too stubborn.. sometimes only willing to listen when things happen.. well.. isnt my stubborness oso e one keeping me from obeying God at times? tt heartening of heart to God's whispers.. sometimes till God hv to send a serious n clear warning b4 i obey.. y go to tt extent?
i was reading.. 'He chose the nails' by Max Lucado, 1 of my fav christian bks author.. dun ask me y.. i didnt really read finish any of his bks.. but i guess i like e way he writes bks.. it's nt jus info or wat.. it's written in a personal way.. w a personal touch n is able to touch one's heart.. n i was oso reading another bk concurrently jus now.. it was my roomie bk.. hmm.. i'll still finish my bk first b4 i cont w hers.. but i'll try to finish both b4 hol end.. i was reading both bks when i was in hostel tis afternoon..
when i was at 'He chose the nails' and read tis part from a story e author wrote, i gt emotional.. dun ask me y.. i noe God is speaking to me.. it's a letter from a father to her daughter..
'i know where you are,' it read. 'i know what you do. this doesn't change the way i feel. What i've said in each letter is still true.'
well.. it does send a bit of chill down e spine.. imagine receiving such a letter n reading e front part.. someone noes wat i m doing n where i am.. feel like being stalked or watched closely by.. but isnt this e case between us and our heavenly Father? He clearly knows where we are every instant and what we are doing or even thinking.. where can we go to hide from Him? But even though He knows all these.. some of e ugly things we think and do.. those tt we may even b shameful to face up to.. yet it doesnt change the way He feels towards us.. how much He loves us.. His promises for us still hold true.. He is still the constant in tis everchanging world n He is still constantly inviting us back into His very presence to be reconciled with Him and to walk with Him closely. How undeserving we are for the things we have been doing.. how we feel so unworthy of His invitation to take that special place that He had prepared for us in His presence.. yet.. this is the LOVE of God.. i m loss for words..